What's In A Name?

Ever wonder how people get their nicknames? Some like Peg-Leg have obvious reasons. But there are always names like D.J. Fuzzy Nipple that escape our reasoning. Titles and nicknames are rarely ones you get to choose yourself. More often they are bestowed upon you by people who prefer to call you something other than your name. It is almost handed to you like a piece of bubble gum, and it just sticks. Nicknames that are born from embarrassing moments you would rather forget about are the worst. I imagine the name Stinky-Dink as an accompaniment to some horrific story involving bathroom tissue sticking out the backside of someone's pants or skirt, and an over-flowing toilet. Not a pleasant thought. Some names describe a person's mental state like Psycho-Girl, Crazy Boy, and M.C. Murder. Although some people think this is cute, I just call it being lazy. You know when you double-up a one syllable name to create Ray-Ray, Tom-Tom, Ce-Ce, and Lu-Lu. How original is that? Put some thought into it, damn it! Then there are the nauseas romantic referrals that include Honey Bunny, Pooh Bear, Sweet Cheeks, Baby Girl and Hot Stuff. Did you ever notice people like to put nicknames together that include two words that rhyme; why is that? Men like to give themselves names that indicate their sexual potency like Ever-Ready, The Razor, The Truth, LL Cool Jay (Ladies Love Cool Jay.) Do not laugh ladies, you do the same thing by calling yourselves 2Sweet, Hot 2 Death, Miz Luvly, and 2Much 4 U. Which brings me to another point. Do not call yourself Dark & Lovely, if you look Black & Ugly. It is just not right to mislead people.

Anyway, enough of that, somewhere in my 60 Minutes Andy Rooney-like tirade I lost track of my point. The reason I started this little tit-bit was because some of the other trainers at work have taken to calling me Coach. Now, I guess I should be flattered by this distinction that I have been labeled with, but I am not. Well, maybe just a little. Traditionally "Coach" is a title you get after years of experience that earns you respect in a particular sport. It is also a sign that you're unable to compete in your sport, and it would be best for you to watch from the sideline. Since I'm still competing, I don't think I'm quite ready for the title of Coach. I may have learned a lot through my training, but I still feel like I have a ways to go. Still, I appreciate the gesture, and I believe it is accompanied by genuine respect. Someday when I am a hundred years old, I may feel ready to answer to the name of Coach. To be a fighter you have to stay hungry, sometimes passion and desire are the only edge you have.