HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

You're the greatest, don't let anyone tell you different. Sketched in my memory are the countless whippings and hours of punishment you gave me for being hard-headed, disobedient, and just generally stupid (I have a problem with authority.) But what did you expect, you always said that I did everything "boy." Well at least you didn't have to worry about me getting pregnant. Instead, you were left with me setting trash cans on fire (I had a fascination with fire when I was 4), sneaking out late at night, and driving the car when I was 12 (who needs a learners permit, a monkey could do this), skipping school (two days does not make for a proper weekend), broken this and that (windows, lamps, cars, my bones, etc), and lets not forget the time I slashed the neighbor's car tires and threw crab-apples at their windows (that one is a classic.) Damn, I was a bad child, it's a wonder my mother didn't try to drown me at birth, but I'm sure she checked to see if 666 was tattooed to the back of my head.

Thanks for always sticking by me through all the trials and tribulations I put you through, patiently waiting for me to mature and come into my own (and I know you're still waiting, so I hope you're not holding your breath.) Nanky (my grandmother) always said, "God looks out for babies and fools" that's why the good Lord paired us together. You're my angel on earth.

I'm a bad boy, but my mommy still loves me.